We went out to dinner tonight. Something we do most Sunday evenings.
We do all the “right” things. Go early to avoid the crowds (and inevitable low blood sugar meltdown of the kids). Pick places that are kid friendly and provide endless pre-dinner snacks. Come prepared with small toys and/or games for the boys. And lastly (but perhaps most importantly) never hesitate to bust out my phone for a well timed viewing of Baby Shark, if needed 😜

Mostly, we only get compliments on the boys’ behavior. Yeah, they’re loud occasionally, but it’s rarely out of defiance or attitude. And when that does happen, we’re quick to remove them from the situation and talk a walk around outside so they have time to calm down before we head back in. We don’t want disruptive kids eating with us, we know you don’t want that near you either.
You’ll probably hear a squeal of excitement when someone wins a game of tic-tac-toe or figures out a hard maze. But that’s typical kid behavior. Right?
That’s what we thought.

Tonight, we had the “luxury” of sitting next to what I can only describe as the most miserable family around. At a family friendly restaurant, Colston hit his head on the back of the bench. Once. Just one time. On accident. We didn’t even think anything of it until I overheard her say “why don’t people just put their kids on the other side of the bench.”
At first, I didn’t even realize that she was talking about us. The kids had been pretty well behaved, everyone was getting along, mostly quiet. So whatever. I brush it off

“Some people just can’t control their kids.”

Hm, now I’m intrigued. Who is she talking about? There aren’t any other kids sitting around us. Oh wait, she’s talking about US. But our kids haven’t been an issue tonight…what could the problem be?

Then I remembered her comment from earlier.
And it all clicked.

And honestly, I froze. Currently, I have about 500 things I wish I had said or done. But in that moment, I couldn’t think of anything besides near blinding rage.
Because these strangers that I don’t even know, and will probably never see again, decided to be hateful and judgmental over a small child’s actions (again, he’s FOUR) and it almost ruined my whole night.

Want to judge my parenting? Go right ahead. I can spout off 50 examples of where I screwed up. And that’s just today.
But at least do it fairly.

So my kid hit his head on the bench and caused you .5 seconds of annoyance. Or discomfort. Or aggravation. Or whatever. He did it once. It wasn’t a repetitive thing. And let’s be real, there is no way that it caused THAT much of a disruption to your meal.

The real kicker is that they had an older child with them. So perhaps I should have just asked them for some pointers on how to be the perfect parent? Clearly, they must have written that book or something, right?

So to the family we obviously caused such a disruption to at dinner tonight, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that you decided to harp on a small, inconsequential action of a young child and then loudly spout off random garbage.
I’m sorry that a young family going out to eat at a family friendly establishment caused you such annoyance.
I’m sorry that I let your comments eat away at me and almost made me miss out on an otherwise enjoyable dinner with my family.
I’m NOT sorry that you caught me staring at you, mostly shocked, when I realized you were throwing totally undeserved shade at a child.
I’m NOT sorry that I didn’t let your bad attitude ruin my whole night.
I’m NOT sorry that next time my kids are a little too loud, your judgmental stares won’t even be a passing thought in my mind.

Maybe, just maybe, we can choose to be a little kinder instead of so quick to judge next time.