I saw a post on Facebook today that said we as adults need to just suck it up. Show our kids that everything that is being cancelled due to Covid isn’t a big deal. It’ll teach them grit and how to adjust in a time of adversity. That as parents, we need to just be positive and look at this time as an “opportunity”. It specifically called out Halloween as being no reason for people to be upset that we were “missing out”. And yeah. In the grand scheme of things, missing Halloween one year, isn’t that bad.

But let’s talk about all the other things that our kids have missed out on. Things that ARE big deals.
Rites of passages.
That were cancelled, changed, or altered in the name of public safety. Kids missed senior proms in the spring. Graduations were cancelled. Seniors didn’t get to walk the stage in front of beaming parents. 13 years of hard work and they didn’t get their deserved fanfare. They didn’t get to say goodbye to their teachers. They were on Spring Break one day, and then suddenly school was cancelled for the year. Birthday parties, bridal showers, baby showers, weddings were cancelled. Or at the very least, changed to drive-by style where no one can truly embrace or celebrate the guest of honor. Moms delivered babies alone. Grandparents died alone. Kids who need special accommodations in school have missed out on SIX MONTHS of growth.

We. Are. Struggling

Sure, as an adult I can try to find the bright side of things. But honestly y’all. I’m tired. Finding the bright side 6+ months into a global pandemic is dark. And it’s a lot to put on parents that are already BONE-TIRED. We are so tired.
We have been ON 24/7 since March 13. There is no down time. If our kids are back in school, we spend 8 hours a day wondering if they’re in a room with someone who is spreading germs all over them. If they aren’t back in school, we are now parents and teachers. Even if we’d been considering homeschooling our kids, having your hand forced isn’t the best way to start it off. There is no break. It’s nearly impossible to ever find time to refill our own cup. And “just staying positive” on an empty cup isn’t easy.

Telling parents that we need to just “suck it up” for our kids, when we will literally do ANYTHING for our kids, is incredibly tone-deaf. We are doing the best we can. Life isn’t the same right now, so it is OK for our kids to say this sucks. It is OK for our kids to see us say this sucks. It is OK for parents to not always find the bright side. Because right now, in this moment, the world is a dark place. Sure, there are bright spots, but as a whole, even when I look really hard, there is a lot of dark that still needs to be stamped out. And it’s OK for my kids to see me struggle with that.

It is OK to not be OK.

We have to learn that not being ok isn’t something to be ashamed of. That instead of telling parents to just “find the bright side!” isn’t helpful. Instead, sit with them. Let them know that you think the world is pretty shitty right now too. If your kids are struggling with all of this, tell them you are too. But you’ll figure it out together.